The False Friend - Dieting and Restricting

Eugenia Nikiforow is a Body and Mind Transformation Expert with a BSc in Business Psychology, a Nutrition and Mindfulness Coach and a Yoga teacher. She specializes in Distorted Eating Recovery including binge eating and emotional eating, distorted relationship with body and food and mindset coaching.  Eugenia has a three pillar approach to wellness considering physical, emotional and nutritional perspectives. She is trained in more than 100 dietary theories, a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods such as Mindfulness, NLP, CBT and positive human psychology.

 

When everything else in life feels out of control – when you hate your job, your relationship is broken and all your friends have moved apart, well, then at least there is still that one thing that you have control over – food and your body. Dieting and Restrictive Eating Disorder is that one loyal “friend” that you can rely on.

1.   It’s all about control

In those years, when distorted eating was that false friend of mine, I always had a reason why I needed to go on another diet or why I needed to change my body. I was in a job I truly despised and my long term relationship was on the verge of crumbling to pieces. Every time I was experiencing lack of control and uncomfortable emotions and feelings that I didn’t want to explore, I would turn my focus to dieting. It was the one thing I knew and it was always there for me. It can be overwhelming to look at what truly causes us pain as we don’t know what we are going to discover and what it will mean. Too many times we are scared to be honest with ourselves so avoid uncomfortable emotions by finding distractions and something we can get out teeth into.

2.   We all just want to be happy

I believed that once I had a perfect body, everything would change and I would be so much happier. Looking back, I was craving love, affection, purpose and happiness. But I didn’t know that then. I fell into the dieting trap and the false friend trap – EVERY TIME. And then, there was a day when I asked myself: If the “perfect” body was supposed to make me happy, why wasn’t the way I was feeling about myself changing, even when my body was? Did it mean that dieting and restrictive eating weren‘t giving me anything? I realized that were. They gave me a sense of control, familiarity, a friend who was literally going through thick and thin with me and they gave me a false sense of hope for a better future.

3.   It’s all about what we believe we will get

So many people are convinced that controlling food and how their body looks will give them confidence, happiness, love, connection and purpose.  What I realized is that it is not about the body or food, it has never been and will never be. When we look beneath the surface, it is about what we believe we will get. For some it is confidence, love and affection, for others it might be career, happiness, success.

But let me ask you this: How many times have you lost and gained weight and how many times did you get all that you believed you would get once you had the body of your dreams?

4.   Let’s turn it around and take charge

That realization changed my entire outlook on life. Instead of waiting for love, purpose and happiness, it was up to me to take empowered actions to create my life. I started asking myself how I envisioned my life to be and what made me happy. I integrated 15 minutes of meditation and visualization into my morning routine and started taking action daily. It was incredibly empowering to let go of the illusion that controlling my body and food would give me love, purpose and happiness.  In fact, it was tiring and exhausting and it wasn’t leading me anywhere.

Now, I feel so much stronger within myself knowing that I am in charge of my life instead of being on another diet.

Since then, I quit my job, separated myself from my toxic relationship and have started my own business. I am living my passion and purpose every day supporting women and girls recovering from disordered eating and body image issues.

 I no longer control my body shape through dieting and restrictive eating because I know that it is just a false friend who is trying to create the illusion of being my best friend.

And yes – I even found the love of my life.

You can find more information about her practice at:
Website:  [www.mindfoodness.nz]