Fighting to Die

He was leaning over the edge.

Fighting to die.

Surrounded by saviours that were all strangers.
Grasping on to a man so desperate to fade away to nothing.
To jump and plummet.

To breathe and feel and think no longer.

And instead of the final action of his existence being that of surrender he was cradled by humanity.

They grabbed him with all of their fight and their love and their will.
His decided mind was no match for their decided hearts.

They overpowered his warped life time of beliefs.
They stood united, free from judgement.
As one.

Knowing that this moment was not just for the stranger.

This moment was for all of their own hurt.
Their own tragedies.
For all of their tears and losses and grief.

For everyone that they had lost.
That they hadn't had the chance to save.
For all of those that slipped through their fingers.
That they never had the chance to say goodbye to.

For the ones they loved that they never got to hold and breathe belief into.

For the fighters surrendering to a silent war that jumped with no one to catch them.
That thought no one would want to catch them.
That thought their lives were meaningless.
Worthless.
That no one would care.

I don't know you but I know that in that moment I cared so deeply about your life.
Your life was equivalent to the moon and the stars and the sun.
It was the most precious, most fragile, most important thought in my mind.
Everything halted. The world around me faded and all else disappeared.

The road, the cars, the people. They were all black and white and grey.
You vibrated in colour. Your body leaning over the edge with an indecipherable mass of people holding onto you.

There you were with the illusion in your mind that the world would go on as usual without you.
Here we were with an unquestionable knowing that this would not be the day you died.
That it could not end this way.
That we knew the pain and knew what it was like to feel unworthy of living.
But that this was not your day.

That we needed to, without any doubt, show you that we saw you.
We see you.
We stand here beside you.

Knowing that life can feel like a tomb.
Black, suffocating, terrifying.
Unjust, cruel, punishing.

But, and here is the reason you are still alive today, it is also a miracle.
Life is a miracle.

That is why we are here as a human race.
To remind one another that life is a miracle.


We are one.
We are here together.
For this conscious emotional, physical and spiritual experience.

So please know that we care about your life.
Deeply, passionately, with every part of our beings.
We care about your life.

If you need to fall then do.
Into the arms of love.
Falling is not weak.
Feeling is not weak.

But give us a chance to catch you.
Because every time we will.

Much love,
Mama Chow.